A Puposeful Life
by skywolf666
Summary: SheLloyd. Sheena never thought she had a reason to live before, especially after everything that had happened in the past. Lloyd, realizing what he should have known, decides some tough love may be needed to get her to see the light. Mild spoilers...


"Ughn!"

"Ow!"

"Yeek!"

Lloyd landed flat on his back with a grunt of pain, staring around him in shock as the light had finally dimmed enough for his vision to return. His hand was still clasped around Sheena's arm from when he had yanked her back away from the murderous Kuchinawa. Pushing himself to a sitting position he looked around worriedly, counting the numbers of his team as quickly as he could.

Genis was on his feet, helping up a winded Mithos. Raine looked as though she could happily sit where she was for the next few days, but gingerly she too got to her feet, brushing the dirt off of her robe. Regal stood off a little ways from the group as he normally did, but his eyes were weary as he glanced around at their new surroundings. Presea was wiping the dirt from her skirt and axe with her free hand, not looking slightly the bit interested in what had just happened. Zelos was still on the ground with a saddened look on his face as he realized what he'd fallen on was nothing other than his sword and Colette had stopped to help him to his feet.

Lloyd stood now too, taking a look of his surroundings, letting go of Sheena now that he was sure the danger had passed. He knew this place, and almost immediately his heart hammered in his chest as he realized where they were. 'Home!'

"We're back... in Sylvarant." Genis spoke as though he wasn't too sure of what he was saying, staring wide eyed at the area around them. He too knew where they were, and as if in a daze, he knelt down to touch the lush grass. "We're by Palmacosta... And the mana level's risen since we left..."

"It must be because we split the seals in Tethe'alla . . . " Raine murmured thoughtfully, nodding along with her little brother's prognosis. She took a deep breath of the salty air and nearly smiled. She hadn't realized how much she had missed her 'homeland'. "We definitely are back in Sylvarant . . . "

Sheena had finally been able to get a good hold of herself, pushing back her feelings of shock and turning them to anger as she too got to her feet. She turned on Lloyd who wasn't looking at her, and snarled angrily, "What was up with you!? Why did you butt in!?"

Lloyd didn't answer her, looking away as though she hadn't even spoken. His lips thinned a good deal and his hands curled at his sides, but he fought against the urge to speak, knowing that it would be best to tell her privately.

Genis raised an eyebrow at Lloyd's uncharacteristic behaviour, but it wasn't he who answered her question, Colette jumped in before he had a chance to do so. "Sheena, were you really willing to die back there? None of us want that for you, you don't deserve to suffer for a simple mistake, and Kuchinawa should know that instead of condemning you."

"She's right you know." Zelos added slyly, earning a hard clip over the ear from a very annoyed Sheena. He danced back, nursing the wound and continued in a more depressed tone, "You know she is, so why did you have to hit me?"

"I didn't need you siding with her, stupid Chosen." Sheena replied acidly, turning back to Colette. She froze however, her words dying in her throat when she saw the Chosen's eyes. They held no hint of blame or anger, but a deep sadness and truth. Sheena blushed self-consciously, realizing yet again that anything Colette said was always the truth, she couldn't lie to save her life, her soul was always for show. With a grunt, she turned her gaze to the rest of the party, reading their emotions with perfect accuracy.

Raine had her arms crossed, but the set of her mouth said it all, she didn't have the taste for blood or sacrifice, not after everything they had already been through. Genis were staring at Presea with an unreadable expression in his eyes, but he too had seen enough death to last him several lifetimes. Regal stared at the ground with a darker grimace than usual, and surprisingly enough as was Presea, both were thinking of Alicia. When she turned her eyes to Zelos she wasn't surprised to see him shrug his shoulders, and she didn't look at Lloyd, too annoyed to really care what she would see.

"Sheena, please don't ever do that again." Colette's voice was soft, and there was a true ring of pleading in it as she whispered her words, clasping her hands together as if in prayer. "Please promise. I couldn't bear to see another friend die."

Sheena grit her teeth, guilt surging through her blood with such strength that she almost wanted to hug the blond girl close to console her. Forcing her feet to stay on the ground, she whipped her head from side to side, trying to clear the static in her brain. Had she truly wanted to die? Even as she asked herself the question, she laughed harshly at herself. 'I'm scared to die. I'm a coward.'

"Sheena, Colette was right when she said that none of us want that for you, or any of the party for that matter." Raine spoke with the firm authority of the professor that she was, but at the same time a gentle tinge coloured her words as if she was speaking to one of her prized students. Gesturing to the group, she asked firmly, "Does anyone dispute that?"

"I have seen enough death and sorrow. I do not wish to see any more of it." Presea replied after a long moment, lifting her pale eyes to stare into Sheena's startled topaz ones. "Life.... is sacred. Even mine. We should live our lives to the fullest."

"Sacrificing yourself would only bring pain down on all of us. I agree with Presea. We can't live our lives as if they don't matter." Genis answered with a nod, his eyes narrowing a little as he grew very serious. "Lloyd was right to pull you back Sheena. None of us want you to die."

"If you died, who would I stare at during this hell of a journey?" Zelos asked sweetly, earning glares from everyone save Lloyd, who was still examining the ground. He shrugged at their nasty looks, continuing as if he hadn't seen them, "Besides, we'd be pretty much screwed without your Summoning skills, I mean look how far they've gotten us already. We couldn't lose such a valuable ally."

"As bluntly as Zelos puts it... The Chosen has a point, but beyond your quickly growing skills, we have also found a friend in you Sheena." Regal spoke with utmost seriousness, nodding his head as he looked down at the shackles that still bound his hands. "No matter what you may feel at a moment... It shouldn't dictate your life, or how to end it. All life... has purpose."

Sheena bit her lower lip, knowing that regardless of what she argued, none of them would let her have the last word, not on this subject. With a grunt, she turned to Lloyd and muttered with no enthusiasm whatsoever, "Thank you Lloyd."

He didn't answer, merely turned his head towards her then looked back at the ground. Sheena turned her back on him too, waiting for the rest of the group to decide what they would do. She had no interest in talking anymore to any of them, even though she knew in her heart that they all were right. She felt selfish for doing it, but at the same time it felt good to finally let herself feel some annoyance and let it linger.

"I think we should just camp here for the night, it's already dark and I think we all could use some rest..."

With those words spoken and everyone giving their agreement, a makeshift camp was set within the hour and a large bonfire was crackling in the crisp night air. Sheena volunteered numbly to be the first night watch, knowing that everyone else, particularly Raine, needed rest after all the hectic rushing around they had done in the past few days. Like she had thought, it didn't take very long for all of them to be asleep, and she drifted just a little from the fire to gaze out at the dark sea ahead near Palmacosta.

She sighed silently, her right hand reaching up to absently twirl a lock of her dark hair around her fingers. The moon was shining brilliantly in the clear night sky, reflecting off the mirror-like surface of the water and casting a bit of an odd glow to the surrounding area. She hugged her knees to her chest as she stared at the sea, trying to calm the erratic rush of emotions surging in her body. At one moment the anger would be so intense she wanted to wake the twin swordsman from his sleep and yell at him to her heart's content, yet at the next she wanted to hug him and thank him so sincerely she might give in to her emotions and cry. With a grunt of annoyance, she muttered to herself, "Why him? Why did it have to be him?"

Then, movement caught her eyes, and she stiffened immediately as her instincts took over. Her hand was already going for her pouch at her hip to reach for her Vajra card when she recognized the silhouette. Her hand dropped to her side and she rolled her eyes as Lloyd slowly walked along the coast in the darkness. Curiosity had worked its magic on her however, and after an inner struggle that lasted only ten seconds, she had got up and silently followed him.

He had stopped at the edge of a bend, staring listlessly out at the dark sea, thumbing the hilt of his blade absently. She watched from the shadows as he stood there in silence, and she couldn't help herself from growing even more curious. 'Why is he up so late at night...? Is there maybe something....?' She paused mid-thought, scowling in the darkness at herself. 'He made a fool of me, then he doesn't bother giving me an explanation on why he did what he did earlier! Why should I be concerned about him if he's going to be such a jerk!?'

That was when she saw him slowly unsheathing one of his blades, his back still to her, his silhouette seeming haunting in the pale moon's glow. She froze, her breath catching in her throat as he held the hilt with both of his hands, turning the blade on himself. Goosebumps erupted down her arms as her eyes widened in horror, her blood freezing as she realized his intent. Her body moved before she consciously commanded it to, and she hurtled towards him, moving without a thought to disarm him.

It was easier than she had expected, his hands were so loose on his blade that a well-aimed swat had knocked it into the sand. Before he could possibly get his second, her foot lashed out to take his legs out in one easy sweep and he toppled backwards onto the ground. She pounced on top of him then, using her entire body to pin him down, her nose inches away from his as her hands grabbed his wrists to hold his hands down. "What the _hell_ is in your head!?"

To her shock, he was staring up at her with a ghost of a smile on his face, though something dark swam in his normally bright eyes. She released him immediately, jumping backwards and breathed heavily, trying to get control of her rapidly beating heart. Something stirred in her stomach at the look on his face, and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know what was happening now.

Lloyd slowly got to his feet, brushing the sand from his pants as though he had just tripped instead of being thrown to the ground. Silently, he walked over to his discarded blade and sheathed it, turning back to Sheena as casually as if he'd just noticed she was there. "Hello, Sheena."

Sheena flinched visibly, and her feet hardened into lead with his easy greeting. His tone was jovial but she could tell it was a forced cheer, and something dead stirred beneath his words, and she didn't like it at all. Trying to control herself, she asked as calmly as she could muster, "Hello? Is that all you can say after you nearly disembowelled yourself? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me, Sheena." Lloyd replied smoothly, checking to make sure his swords were back in place before tossing his head over to the sea. With an idle shrug, he added casually, "I was just going for a walk, I couldn't sleep. Anyway, I best head back...." With those words, he brushed past her, heading back towards the camp like nothing had happened.

Sheena, as shocked as she was by this odd display, wasn't about to be brushed off again. Twirling around, she grabbed his shoulder and jerked him back hard, demanding fiercely, "Oh no you don't! Tell me what the hell is going on with you, now!" He didn't answer, merely smiled at her with the same ghostly grimace he had given her before, and it shook the trained Summoner to her very core. Shaken, she felt the same rush of cold fear she had felt when she had stepped into Volt's temple after failing horribly so many years ago. "L-Lloyd..."

"Sheena, what I just did was show you what you did to me just a few hours ago." Lloyd's voice was calm but she sensed the seriousness and the bridled anger in his tone. She took an instinctive step backwards and he followed smoothly to recorrect the distance, continuing quietly, "Sheena... Do you understand how terrified I was when I realized you were serious about giving your life up to Kuchinawa for ours? Do you understand how helpless I felt to see that happen in front of my eyes?"

"Lloyd..."

"I can't lose you like that. I just can't." Lloyd continued weakly, shaking his head and running a hand through his windswept hair. She stared at him in complete astoundment, and he closed the distance between them in two short strides, yanking her forward and clasping her to his chest. She didn't fight him, merely stood there as though she had no idea how to react. "Sheena, you're invaluable. You can't be replaced like some broken weapon or old book. I grabbed you back there because when you were going to let yourself die at Kuchinawa's hands, I knew that some part of me would die if you were gone. You understand that don't you?"

Sheena said nothing, closing her eyes as she breathed in his scent, a heady aroma of skin and some spice she couldn't name. His arms were wound tightly around her waist to hold her close to him, and after a moment, she wound hers around him too. Burying her face in his chest, she whispered brokenly, "I... You... You scared me there... I ... I thought..."

"That's exactly what I felt Sheena... I know it was cruel but I didn't know how else to explain to you what I went through back there." Lloyd's voice was incredibly tender as he spoke into her hair, hugging her as close as she could possibly get now, desperate to have her in his arms, against him, to keep her there. He spoke slowly, each word coming out as its own sentence as he tried to get it all right, "I don't know what to say around you sometimes, all my words get so mixed up in my head that they come out wrong when I finally get the courage to speak to you... But I know this for certain, I can't lose you, not now, not ever. You just can't leave me, no matter what it takes. It's selfish of me to say that to you, but it's true. You can't ever do something like that again to me Sheena, you can't."

"D...Do you mean that Lloyd?" Sheena asked hesitantly, drawing away only slightly so she could look up at him curiously. His eyes were serious as he looked down at her, and she didn't need him to speak to have her answer. She was surprised by his behaviour, she had never seen him so serious before, but it no longer scared her like it had just a few moments ago. Now that she understood, it made her very soul ache in apology. She was astounded by the force of the emotion, and before she realized what she saying, she had hugged him close, whispering into his shirt, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

"We all feel like we don't want to live after a certain point... But... We have to live. Every life has purpose. We have to survive to finish this journey, to save these people and the worlds. It's not just our goal. It's our obligation to do it. If we fail, who else can do it?" Lloyd sighed wearily as he closed his eyes tightly, pulling her body flush against his yet again. The warmth of her skin against his was maddening and he fought the urge to kiss the crown of her hair, something he had been aching to do since she buried herself in his embrace. He didn't know why he wanted to touch her in ways he'd never touched someone before, and though the urges drove him crazy, he was slowly beginning to realize what was happening to him.

He'd fallen in love.

Sheena nestled closer into his arms with a weak sigh of her own, resting her cheek against his chest to listen to his heartbeat. It was steady and strong, and that reassured her oddly, for she'd been thinking it was all a dream. She had no idea how long she had wished to be held like this, to finally understand what it was like to feel protected and secure in a world of insanity. She couldn't really care at that moment if the world fell from beneath her feet, as long as he was still there, holding her.

"Sheena....?"

"Mmm...?"

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done what I did to you, it wasn't fair..." Lloyd apologized with a very weak grin, pulling away only slightly so she could see his face. She scowled at him, but the gentleness in her eyes told him that she wasn't really angry with him and he sighed in relief. He knew she could get incredibly violent when she was angry, but oddly enough it wasn't the fear of physical wounds that made him sigh, it was the idea of having her feel anything but happiness around him. For once, he gave into the hungry yearning in the pit of his being and reached out to gently touch her cold cheek with his ungloved hand, watching as her eyes closed in bliss and she leaned into the simple touch as though he was giving her all the pleasure in the world. "Do you forgive me?"

"Mmm hmm..." Sheena purred quietly, barely paying attention as his finger traced a circle on her cheek before resting to cup her face entirely. She was beyond pleasure at the gentle touch, tilting her head to better get a snug fit into his palm. She heard his low chuckle at her actions but she couldn't find it in her to be annoyed or embarrassed.

"That's good... I was scared you'd never smile at me again." Lloyd told her with his signature smile, watching with delight as she opened one eye to look at him before smiling back at him. He promptly scooped her off the ground, spinning her in a tight circle with a whoop of laughter. She managed a strangled gasp before that melted into girlish laughter and she closed her eyes and held on tight.

Within seconds they both were dizzy, and still laughing Lloyd tripped over his own two feet and landed hard on his back, saving Sheena by using his own body as a cushion as she fell onto him. She burst out into quiet laughter, closing her eyes and letting herself have the moment. He was laughing too, lying back in the sand laughing like the boy he truly was.

"Well that was fun." Sheena managed to say between giggles, propping herself up on her elbow, staring at Lloyd. He was lying under her with a happy smile, more like the real boy she had known and given her heart and soul to long before she would ever have admitted. She reached out to tenderly run her fingers through his hair, listening to him sigh and turn his head in response to her touch. "Do you like that?"

"Yeah, it feels nice." Lloyd mumbled absently, opening one eye lazily to see her happy smile at the newfound knowledge. With a low laugh, he reached up to tousle her hair, the little boy she normally used to hold it up in a ponytail coming loose, letting her dark hair pill down onto her shoulders. Looking up at her now, she was momentarily dazzled by how she looked in the moonlight with her tender smile. Without really thinking, he touched her soft hair, muttering quietly, "Beautiful..."

"You think so?" Sheena asked softly, blushing fiercely at the low whisper that her keen ears had picked up. She turned her head away from him to hide the redness stealing into her cheeks, suddenly realizing that she was lying on top of him and his left arm was firmly wrapped around her waist to keep her there. "Stop teasing me..."

"I'm not teasing." Lloyd defended himself stubbornly, sticking out his lower lip in a pout at the idea that she didn't believe him. She looked at him with raised eyebrows and he continued to pout, sulking like a small child in hopes that it would make her laugh again.

"You are so, and you're sulking now too." Sheena accused him with a barely hidden smile, poking him in the chest as he proceeded to grunt unhappily. Laughing at his actions, she poked him again, "You're acting like a miffed toddler!"

"You're gonna get it for that!" Lloyd promptly pounced, switching their positions in a blink of an eye, tickling her sides mercilessly. She squealed loudly in alarm, twisting under him in a futile effort to escape as his wandering hands proceeded to find her every sensitive area and tickle her until she was nearly crying with laughter.

The sounds echoed over the empty beach, to the campsite, where a lone figure had been watching the two from start to finish. The boy at up on the dune where he had been hiding, his blue eyes narrowed in disgust as he watched the two warriors play in the sand like children. Shaking his head, Mithos muttered to himself, "What do they think they're doing...? 'Every life has purpose'? Are they blind or stupid...?" He slunk back down to the camp, sitting down beside the sleeping Genis with a bit of a scowl on his face. He would never truly understand what the two on the beach had come to realize, but that was simply his misfortune and their gain. 'Keep on fooling around... I'll show you all what will really happen to your so-called 'purposeful' lives....'

**AN**

**Another fail oneshot! XD I have a bad habit of hating almost all of my work, lmao. So yes, this was my third idea that had to be written after I got to this part in the game... It was a very important scene I think, though I was a bit peeved when it was Zelos who grabbed her instead of Lloyd. (I mean that should have AT LEAST been optional considering things...) I complain too much XD Anywhosit... Based on the response, I will consider writing another oneshot (certainly based on these two of course, lol) and maybe even writing a full fledged story... I think we'll see in time... Lol, review please if you liked it or didn't like something, or think I totally screw up the world XD I'll hand out cookies to my reviewers, honest!**

**Sky**


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